Edited for television.

                         December 15, 2006

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

             As Roger Ebert is still recovering from 
               several cancer surgeries, we thought 
               we'd offer some holistic medicine... 

             The Top 8 Ways to Make Roger Ebert Laugh

 8. Tell him we need him to review Dude, Where's My Car? 2.

 7. Tell him Fox has a reality show where Rob Schneider, Martin
    Lawrence and Larry the Cable Guy fight to the death.

 6. Hey, the old "penis in the popcorn" trick never gets stale.

 5. Any reference to "Academy Award Winner" Ben Affleck.

 4. Show him clips of Roeper's expression as Kevin Smith gushed
    over Step Up.

 3. Travolta's Saturday Night Fever suit that Siskel paid
    $30,000 for? Hong Kong knockoff.

 2. Have Christopher Walken read his medical charts to him.

    and the Number 1 Way to Make Roger Ebert Laugh...

 1. Tell him the Library of Congress has placed Beyond the
    Valley of the Dolls on the National Film Registry.

              [   Copyright 2006 by Chris White   ] 
              [          www.topfive.com          ] 

Selected from 26 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 1
John English, Orem, UT           -- 2, 7
Kris Johnson, Los Angeles, CA    -- 3
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA        -- 4, 8
Jennifer Ford, Chicago, IL       -- 4
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA      -- 5, 6
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA       -- More of a Siskel

[      Copyright 2006 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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