I shall *never* be a poor actress again!

                         October 28, 2005

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

            After losing her own reality show and other
              work over her party-girl image, actress
              Tara Reid has dropped her publicist and
             asked the media to "stop picking on me".

      The Top 8 Ways Tara Reid Can Improve Her Public Image

 8. Start sleeping with a higher class of director.

 7. Turn down that gig for Girls Gone Wild: Celebrity Party

 6. Three letters, Whiney: B - R - A

 5. Get knocked up by her nutty, couch-jumping boyfriend.

 4. No more keg stands at the Mensa parties.

 3. Make sure that her internet-leaked sex video has better
    production values than all the others.

 2. Every time she makes a decision, ask herself, "What would
    Meryl do?"

    and the Number 1 Way Tara Reid Can Improve Her Public Image...

 1. Get appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

              [   Copyright 2005 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]

Selected from 24 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 1, 6
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA      -- 2, 5, 7, 8 (Blockbuster!)
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA        -- 3
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA      -- 4
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA       -- Didn't Finish Finishing School

[      Copyright 2005 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

This archive is maintained by Kristian Idol at  www.13idol.com
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