================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- SHOWBIZ INSIDER You like us. You really, really like us. ================================================================== March 9, 2001 NOTE FROM KRISTIAN: Acclaimed director Alfred Hitchcock once supposedly remarked, "Actors should be treated as cattle." So, naturally, we pondered... The Top 9 Ways the Industry Would Be Different If Actors Were Cattle 9. Craft services provided by Lawn Doctor. 8. Pamela Anderson plays the flat-chested, intelligent one. 7. Shower scene in newest Psycho remake has Norman Bates sporting leather chaps and swinging a branding iron. 6. Oscar acceptance speeches really would all sound alike. 5. Mad cow disease? Only when the PA forgets the skim lattes. 4. A plate of grass in LA would run upwards of $40. 3. Robert Downey, Jr. gets wasted on Bovine Growth Hormone and "tips" himself. 2. Instead of being turned into Soylent Green, Charlton Heston would have been turned into a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. and the Number 1 Way the Industry Would Be Different If Actors Were Cattle... 1. In India, even Steven Segal would be sacred. [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ] [ www.topfive.com ] ==================================================================
================================================================== Selected from 22 submissions from 7 contributors. Today's Top 5 List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Beth Kujawski, Voice Talent -- 1, 2, 6 (Rookie hat trick! 1st #1) Eric Lipton, Civilian -- 1, 5 (1st #1) Jeff Wilson, Software Drone -- 3, 7 Kris Johnson, Boom Operator -- 3, 8 Davejames, Wage Earner -- 4 Jeff Scherer, Art Director -- 9 Kristian Idol, Screenwriter -- List-poke ================================================================== [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ==================================================================
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