You think you're above the list. Well, you're not above my list.

                         November 8, 2002 

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

         A year ago, publicist-to-the-stars Lizzie Grubman
       called the bouncers at a trendy nightclub "white trash"
        and then backed her Mercedes into a crowd of people
          outside, injuring sixteen. It took her 11 months 
         to publicly apologize, right before her trial, in
            what looked like a bad high school monologue.
               She is now serving 2 months in prison.

              The Top 9 Signs Your Publicist Is Nuts 

 9. Insists that you should guest-moderate something called the
    "Top Five list".

 8. Contact number at top of press release is 1-800-YOU SUCK.

 7. Thinks the "arrested for child molestation" thing'll just
    blow over.

 6. That whole "I-may-be-a-lesbian-and-an-alien" deal? Her idea.

 5. She ran over sixteen people, what the hell else do
    you need to know??

 4. "I'll take Rip Taylor to block."

 3. Your publicity shots are all fake Internet nudes.

 2. Answers every call with "Dateline: Bellevue! My client is
    carrying Bigfoot's love-child!"

    and the Number 1 Sign Your Publicist Is Nuts...

 1. Your 17-city publicity tour? Door-to-door.

              [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


                             BIG HITS

                       Guerrilla PR Wired:
          Waging a Successful Publicity Campaign Online, 
                Offline, and Everywhere in Between

                 Felicity - Complete First Season
                   (it rhymes with "publicity")

Selected from 23 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
William C. Martell, Studio City, CA -- 1, 2, 3 (Academy Award!)
Beth Kujawski, Crown Point, IN      -- 2, 8
Peter Rogers, Louisville, KY        -- 4, 9
Kris Johnson, Glendale, CA          -- 5
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL           -- 6, 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA          -- Needs more publicity

[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

This archive is maintained by Kristian Idol at  www.13idol.com
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