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                           March 4, 2005

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

            The New York Post claimed that "Spider-Man"
           Tobey Maguire was supposed to be a presenter
              at the Golden Globes, but his managers
                 convinced him not to appear on TV
                  because he's gained some weight.


       The Top 7 Repercussions If Spider-Man Were Overweight


 7. Breaks up with Mary Jane, starts dating Kirstie Alley.

 6. Easily foiled by archvillain Dr. Munchies.

 5. "Hey, spiders have to eat as much as they weigh every day,
     you know!"

 4. Removes horizontal stripes from costume.

 3. Has to pay extra for titanium-reinforced web solution.

 2. Villains not intimidated when they see "pregnant-woman
    bellybutton" poking out from underneath costume.


    and the Number 1 Repercussion If Spider-Man Were Overweight...


 1. Manhattan ER doctors get really good at popping Spidey-arms
    back into Spidey-sockets.



              [   Copyright 2005 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


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Selected from 15 submissions from 4 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Jennifer Ford, Ft. Wayne, IN -- 1, 5 (5th #1)
John English, Orem, UT       -- 2, 6
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA  -- 3, 4, 7 (Three picture deal!)
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA   -- Carbo-loaded

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