The Inciter

                           March 7, 2002

                          NOTE FROM ERIC:

           Oscar favorite Russell Crowe's temper keeps 
             making headlines, most recently after a 
           tantrum over the editing of his acceptance 
            speech at a British film awards ceremony.

            With all his fame, fortune and accolades, 
           what could be making Russell Crowe so upset?

             The Top 9 Reasons Russell Crowe Is Angry

 9. No one wants to assassinate him anymore.

 8. Jennifer Connelly promised to introduce him to David Bowie,
    but she's just all talk.

 7. Outraged that now only 7 out of 10 dentists recommend Trident
    for their patients who chew gum.

 6. Well, there's that whole campaign against the credibility of
    A Beautiful Mind -- and, oh yeah, they were out of Frosted
    Cheerios in the hotel this morning.

 5. Orders troops to "unleash hell"; instead they unleash Golden
    Retriever, and it just ruins his garden.

 4. He's seen all the Golden Girls episodes on Lifetime, now
    they're all just repeats.

 3. Those "Less filling" guys will never learn.

 2. "Sure, everyone talks about my temper, but you should see
    how out of control Ron Howard gets when you do an innocent
    'Fonzie' impersonation."

    and the Number 1 Reason Russell Crowe Is Angry...

 1. He just wants to sing and caper, dammit!

              [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]

Selected from 49 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL          -- 1
Jennifer A. Ford, Ft. Wayne, IN    -- 2
Topher Bellavia, Washington, DC    -- 3, 4, 9
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA        -- 5, 8
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ        -- 6
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL  -- 7
Craig D. Barker, Livonia, MI       -- 8
Eric F. Lipton, Chicago, IL        -- Script Doctor

[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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