For recreational use only.

                           August 8, 2003

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

         Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life took in less than half
       the box office that the original did. "The only thing
          we can attribute it to," one clueless executive
         claimed, "is that gamers were not happy with the
                latest version of the video game." 

                The Top 8 Reasons the Tomb Raider
                      Sequel Has Done Poorly

 8. Most people had already seen it - back when it was called
    Raiders of the Lost Ark.

 7. Grave-desecration films just don't pull 'em in like they
    used to.

 6. Angelina looks so pale since she lost access to Billy Bob's

 5. Jolie's relationship with her brother makes even the geeks
    who took their sisters to the prom a little queasy.

 4. Do you have any idea how many tickets Billy Bob bought to the
    first movie?

 3. Lara lugging that kid all over the place is a real downer.

 2. You mention "Angelina Jolie" and "the cradle of life" in one
    sentence and most men don't think of Africa, if you know what
    I mean.

             and the Number 1 Reason the Tomb Raider
                    Sequel Has Done Poorly...

 1. If we wanted to watch a couple of boobs shooting every living
    thing in sight, we would've seen Bad Boys II.

              [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White   ]
              [           www.topfive.com         ]

Selected from 28 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX     -- 1 (3rd #1)
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA -- 2, 8
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA       -- 3
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH   -- 4
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO   -- 5, 6
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA   -- 7 
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA      -- List porter

[      Copyright 2003 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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