Professional writers on a closed list. Do not attempt.

                         August 15, 2003

                       NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

                      Bad movie. Bad movie!!
                        No kibble for you.

          The Top 9 Reasons Gigli Is Better Than Glitter

 9. It's one of them Zen questions: If a movie is crap,
    but no one sees it, is it really crap?
 8. Visible lobotomy scars on Mariah's temporal lobes.

 7. Giggly things are inherently better than glittery things.

 6. Gigli stars a big butt and was directed by a Brest.
 5. Mariah is old-school bad, but Ben and J-Lo are fresh bad!

 4. Isn't that like suggesting it's better to get your fingernails
    pulled out with pliers instead of being poked in the eye with
    a sharp stick?

 3. Christopher Walken's cameo as Mariah Carey's mom completely
    cut in editing.

 2. Two fewer letters you have to write in your review before
    you can put your eyes out with a pencil.

    and the Number 1 Reason Gigli Is Better Than Glitter...

 1. Gigli isn't out on DVD yet.

              [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


                             BIG HITS

               Jennifer Lopez - This Is Me... Then
                  Mariah Carey - Charmbracelet

Selected from 28 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA     -- 1, 5 (Yippee-kai-yay! 1st #1)
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 2
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA           -- 3
Beth Kujawski, Crown Point, IN      -- 4, 9
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA    -- 6
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA    -- 7
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA        -- 8
Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY      -- Topic
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA          -- Undecided

[      Copyright 2003 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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