Do not expose to direct sunlight.

                            May 5, 2006

                       NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

           Charlie Sheen's ex, actress Denise Richards,
           filed a blistering legal document to support
            her divorce case, including allegations of
           gambling addiction, questionable porn sites
                   and screaming death threats.

           The Top 9 Reasons Why Charlie Sheen Is Angry 

 9. Fuel crisis has driven up the cost of cruising for hookers
    by 28%.

 8. Still can't believe that Affleck has an Oscar and he doesn't.

 7. Sat down to watch The Sixth Sense for the first time and
    Denise told him, "Oooh, Bruce Willis like, totally dies in
    the first few minutes!"

 6. Mom threw away his best porno mags.

 5. Oh sure, she'll have a threesome with Neve Campbell on camera,
    but the second you bring her home, it's all Snow White.

 4. Can you blame him? All those pop-up ads on XX sites are
    enough to drive any man insane!

 3. You do Wall Street and Platoon, and all anyone remembers
    you from is that two-minute scene in Ferris Bueller.

 2. Still has recurring nightmares about everyone making fun of
    him for marrying the worst Bond girl ever.

    and the Number 1 Reason Why Charlie Sheen Is Angry...

 1. Emilio stopped giving him an extra bag of fries with his

              [   Copyright 2006 by Chris White   ] 
              [          www.topfive.com          ] 

Selected from 29 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA   -- 1, 8, 9 (Three picture deal!)
John English, Orem, UT        -- 2
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA   -- 3
Kim Moser, New York, NY       -- 4
Ryan Garcia, Austin, TX       -- 5
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH -- 6, 7
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA     -- 9
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA    -- Passed Into "Bitter"

[      Copyright 2006 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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