Why?  Why??  WHYYYY????

                         November 14, 2003

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

     Screenwriter William Goldman once explained how tens of
     millions of dollars could be spent on a film yet no one
     would go see it, and how an executive could lose his or
     her million-dollar job over that, yet find another one
      immediately. The problem, stated Goldman about movies,
          was that "nobody knows anything" (for certain). 

           The Top 9 Proofs That Nobody Knows Anything 

 9. No one seems to learn that a popular singer does NOT an actor

 8. Weekend at Bernies 2, Look Who's Talking 2 and 3,
    Police Acadamy 2 through 9, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2...
    um, how much time you got?

 7. Ever actually listened to Susan Sarandon?

 6. Nine -- count 'em, NINE -- full-length Land Before Time

 5. Ben Affleck and Paul Newman have the same amount of Oscars.

 4. Lorne Michaels probably still trying to do a Matt Foley:
    Motivational Speaker movie.

 3. From Justin to Kelly played at the same time as Dumb and
    Dumberer. C'mon, people, they can't accidently wander into
    both theaters at the same time!

 2. Denzel Washington: critically-acclaimed, award-winning
    actor -- $20 mil per film. Jim Carrey, ass-ventriloquist --
    $25 mil per film.

    and the Number 1 Proof That Nobody Knows Anything...

 1. Big-screen comic book trend finally dwindling to movie
    starring Goofus and Gallant from Highlights.

              [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


                             BIG HITS

                  Adventures in the Screen Trade
                         by William Goldman

                       Which Lie Did I Tell?
                         by William Goldman

Selected from 21 submissions from 7 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO    -- 1, 9 (5th #1)
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA  -- 2, 5
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH    -- 3, 8
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 4, 6
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD      -- 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA       -- List Guru

[      Copyright 2003 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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