================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- MOVIES Only read this list after sundown. ================================================================== October 30, 2009 NOTE FROM KRISTIAN: Lots of new bloodsuckers out there these days. No, not agents, silly. The Top 9 New Rules in Modern Vampire Movies 9. If they can't locate a coffin in which to hide, they find a Goth crowd and blend in. 8. Only turn into a bat when papparazzi aren't around. 7. Health care activists demand they wear fang condoms. 6. Today's vampires can assume the form of a bat, a wizard or an 18-wheel semi. 5. Los Angeles Vampire Union insists its members be well-tanned. 4. Can now see themselves in a mirror; it's their tweets that are hidden. 3. Garlic doesn't ward them off any more, but just about anything on the Denny's menu will do the trick. 2. Vampires who have bitten underage victims now required to register and notify local authorities of their whereabouts. and the Number 1 New Rule in Modern Vampire Movies... 1. Forget A, B, AB and O. New blood types: Triple Mocha Cappuccino and Hazelnut Caramel Latte. [ Copyright 2009 by Chris White ] [ www.topfive.com ] ==================================================================
================================================================== Selected from 32 submissions from 9 contributors. This week's list authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH -- 1, 4 Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA -- 2, 3, 7 (Three picture deal!) Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA -- 3, 5 John English, Orem, UT -- 3, 6 Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 4 Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 8 Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 9 Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- Batty ------------------------------------------------------------------ New Rules in Modern Vampire Movies RUNNERS UP list -- Ain't It the Tooth ------------------------------------------------------------------ Apparently, can appear in sunlight as long as they're wearing Ray Bans. (Kim Moser, New York, NY) ================================================================== [ Copyright 2009 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ==================================================================
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