For educational purposes only.

                           March 19, 2004

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

          Well, the Academy Awards came and went, *yawn*.
            Hmmm... how would Top5 pump up the ol' show?

            The Top 9 Differences If the Academy Awards
                       Were Run by Frat Guys

 9. Out: tuxes and designer dresses. In: colorful bed sheets held
    together with safety pins.

 8. All female presenters required to wear wet t-shirts.

 7. Joan and Mellissa Rivers stuffed in gunny sacks and tossed
    off a bridge.

 6. Jello shots between each award.

 5. Special Lifetime Achievement Award for Seann William Scott.

 4. Gold statuettes replaced by gold-plated beer bongs.

 3. New categories: "Best Rack in a Starring Role" and "Best Film
    in Which a Fart is Lighted".

 2. Winners have to crawl through spanking tunnel to get to the

        and the Number 1 Difference If the Academy Awards
                      Were Run by Frat Guys...

 1. Dude, Where's my Car? nominated for 12 Oscars. Wins 14.

              [   Copyright 2004 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


                             BIG HITS

      The Insider's Guide to the Colleges 2004: 30th Edition

                     What Smart Students Know:
         Maximum Grades. Optimum Learning. Minimum Time

Selected from 48 submissions from 14 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
Gideon Griebenow, Potchefstroom, S. Africa -- 1, 4 (4th #1)
John English, Orem, UT                     -- 2
Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA              -- 3, 7
William C. Martell, Studio City, CA        -- 4
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA           -- 5
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS                     -- 6, 8
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA                  -- 6
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia          -- 9
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA                -- 9
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX             -- Topic
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA                 -- Your RA

[      Copyright 2004 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

This archive is maintained by Kristian Idol at  www.13idol.com
Get a new Top 5 Movies list every Friday! Subscribe Page bomb

Buy movie scripts
15,000 movie and TV scripts!