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         TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS  --  SHOWBIZ INSIDER
                  A re-imagining of the original.
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                          August 31, 2001 


          The Top 9 Differences If Shakespeare Wrote Porn  


 9. "A whore! A whore! My kingdom for a whore!"

 8. "Is that the skull of Yorick in your pocket or are you just
     glad to see me?"

 7. Boys in high school English now pay very close attention.

 6. Juliet and Juliet: An All-Girl Adventure

 5. Before: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
    After: Hamlet, World's Luckiest Pizza Delivery Boy

 4. The Bard's defining work? As You Lick It.

 3. Let's just say King Lear would have had a waaaayy better
    method of choosing a favourite daughter.

 2. Richard III would simply be Dick Dick Dick!


    and the Number 1 Difference if Shakespeare Wrote Porn...


 1. Othello: Hot, Chocolate Lover


              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


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                             BIG HITS

                 Search Amazon on "Shakespeare"
               (9300 books, 71 videos, 50 CDs...)

                     Search Amazon on "porn"
                   (Try it, it's fascinating!)

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Selected from 23 submissions from 6 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Beth Kujawski, Writer/Voice Talent -- 1, 8
Wade Kwon, Civilian                -- 2, 4
Greg Preece, Comic/Writer          -- 3, 5
Anonymous, Porn Screenriter        -- 6
Peter Rogers, Civilian             -- 7
Michael Sheinbaum, Civilian        -- 9
Kristian Idol, Writer/Director     -- Moderator

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[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
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