We the list-makers...

                           July 5, 2001

                          NOTE FROM ERIC:

                      Happy Independence Day!

                The Top 9 Differences If Hollywood
                 Were Run by the Founding Fathers

 9. One thumb up if by land; two thumbs up if by sea.

 8. Hugh Grant, Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson would all be 
    blacklisted by the House Committee on Un-American Activities.

 7. "The safety of Action Heroes being necessary for the gross 
     profit, the right of Good Guys to kill fifty Bad Guys with 
     one bullet, and of Bad Guys to miss Good Guys with fifty 
     bullets, shall not be infringed." 

 6. Arnold Schwarzenegger forever type-cast as a Hessian. 

 5. Jaws would have wooden teeth.

 4. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Key Grips 
     are created equal..." 

 3. John Hancock would constantly be demanding "Above the title"

 2. In contract disputes, a writer counts as three-fifths of 
    an actor. 

             and the Number 1 Difference If Hollywood
                Were Run by the Founding Fathers...

 1. Special effects and CGI artists routinely burned as witches.

              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]

Selected from 47 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
Greg Preece, Toronto, ON                -- 1, 3
Zachary Brewster-Geisz, Greenbelt, MD   -- 2, 7
Topher Bellavia, Washington, DC         -- 2
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA             -- 4, 8
Dave Ferry, Leesburg, VA                -- 5
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL       -- 6
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ             -- 8
Aimee Spanier, Oakland, CA              -- 9
Eric F. Lipton, Washington, DC          -- Script Doctor

[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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