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                        February 26, 2010                         

        The Top 8 Classified Ads in The Hollywood Reporter        

 8. Estate sale: tattoo patterns, vials of blood, children (all
    races), formerly handsome actor with full beard. A.J. in L.A.

 7. Mr. Sheen looking for makeup artist specializing in mug shot
    touchup. Must be quick worker, available 24/7.

 6. For sale: 1966 Alfa Romeo Spider 1600, red, small gas tank.
    Call Ben Braddock at 555-4444.

 5. Book for sale: Anger Management for Dummies. New, still in
    shink-wrap. Email alec@baldwin.com.

 4. Prodco looking for Best Boy. Must have at least four years
    experience as 2nd Best Boy, or Pretty Damn Good Boy with

 3. Seeking attractive, stable mate who is into fun times, big
    hats, surprises. No freaks. Respond, L. Gaga.

 2. New listing: Huge vacation home. No wait, *two* extra homes
    for sale. Oh yeah, that one, I forgot, THREE houses... Aw,
    hell, just ask for Nic.

    and the Number 1 Classified Ad in The Hollywood Reporter...

 1. Southwest Airlines ticket. Never used. Contact K. Smith.

              [   Copyright 2010 by Chris White   ]              
              [          www.topfive.com          ]              

Selected from 19 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH    -- 1, 2, 3 (Academy Award!)
Kris Johnson, Los Angeles, CA     -- 2
Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 4, 7
Glenn Anthony, San Carlos, CA     -- 5
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS            -- 6
Judith Cotrill, Bronx, NY         -- 8
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA        -- Classified Identity

[      Copyright 2010 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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