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                         December 7, 2007                         


          The Top 7 Celebrities We Want to Sue (and Why)          


 7. George Clooney, Brad Pitt et al. -- Preemptive lawsuit to
    prevent any plans for Oceans 14.

 6. Woody Allen -- For ceasing to be funny around about 1988.

 5. Jane Fonda's agent -- Her only two movies this decade were
    Monster-in-Law and Georgia Rule. The prosecution rests.

 4. David O. Selznick -- Despite my extensive study of Gone With
    the Wind, the state of Georgia refuses to license me as a
    midwife.

 3. Sean Connery -- For refusing to make another movie after the
    big-screen assault known as The League of Extraordinary
    Gentlemen.

 2. Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers -- To get
    residuals for the clips I post to YouTube.


    and the Number 1 Celebrity We Want to Sue (and Why)...


 1. Joel Schumacher -- For Batman & Robin. (We will hound you
    until the end of your days, Schumacher!)



              [   Copyright 2007 by Chris White   ]               
              [          www.topfive.com          ]               


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Selected from 18 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
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John English, Orem, UT           -- 1, 3, 5 (Three picture deal!)
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 2, 4
Donald Johnson, Cincinatti, OH   -- 6, 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA       -- Innocent, Your Honor

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               Celebrities We Want to Sue (and Why)               
                RUNNERS UP list  --  TV v. TV                     
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HBO -- For no new "Real Sex" documentary in, like, five years!
          (Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA)

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert -- For not letting me get to bed
at a reasonable hour.
          (Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA)

Oprah -- I've watched every episode of her show since 1984 and I
haven't gotten a car from her yet.
          (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA)

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[      Copyright 2007 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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