The Late Great...

                         August 16, 2001

                         NOTE FROM ERIC:

           Fans eager for the sequel to The Matrix were
       saddened to learn last week that effects production
      will delay its release by at least a year and a half.

              While disappointing, it is hardly the
              first time a film went off schedule.

                The Top 9 Causes of Movie Delays

 9. Mission Impossible 2: Tom Cruise labored for months over
    ending monologue where he graphically described his forbidden
    love for gay German porn stars.

 8. Planet of the Apes: Writers still struggling over ending to
    film -- even now, five weeks after release.

 7. Lord of the Rings: Gandalf constantly trying to keep Gollum
    from humping leg.

 6. Disease backward of outbreak odd to due delayed production:

 5. Hamlet: Demanding better pay, monkeys #16743 through #29238
    went on strike for three weeks.

 4. Star Wars, Episode II: Thirty takes per scene demanded by
    obsessive perfectionist Jar-Jar Binks.

 3. Traffic 2: Production on hold because Michael Douglas's
    co-star/future wife hasn't been born yet.

 2. Toy Story 3: Just as he lost all that weight for his part in
    "Castaway", Tom Hanks insists he must become a cloth puppet,
    delaying production indefinitely.

    and the Number 1 Cause of a Movie Delay...

 1. Matrix 2: Got the "Red Pill" mixed up with the "Birth Control
    Pill", and now Keanu has breasts.

              [   Copyright 2001 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]

Selected from 39 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
Eric M. Wakeford, Niagara Falls, ON   -- 1, 4, 7 (Hat Trick!)
Jude Benlab, Swarthmore, PA           -- 1, 9
Zachary Brewster-Geisz, Greenbelt, MD -- 2, 6
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL     -- 3
Kim Moser, New York, NY               -- 4
Clifton J. Gray, Tucson, AZ           -- 5
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL             -- 8
Aimee Spanier, Oakland, CA            -- 9
Eric F. Lipton, Washington, DC        -- Script Doctor

[      Copyright 2001 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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