================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- MOVIES The house that Affleck built. ================================================================== December 3, 2004 The Top 9 Signs You're Too Stupid to Watch Movies 9. "Hey, look, free candy and popcorn on the floor!" 8. You can't figure out why your remote won't work on the sixty-foot TV. 7. You keep trying to look up Jessica Rabbit's dress. 6. After the first preview, you get up and leave, complaining about the shortness of movies these days. 5. You can't understand why someone hasn't had Dennis Hopper committed. 4. You watch the video again and again in the hope that Old Yeller just might make it this time. 3. You sit facing the audience, and every few minutes you turn towards the screen to "shushh!" the actors. 2. Whenever the movie gets exciting, you choke on a pretzel. and the Number 1 Sign You're Too Stupid to Watch Movies... 1. You bring a portable DVD player so you can watch the movie that you want to watch. [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ] [ www.topfive.com ] ================================================================== BIG HITS "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt (arrow points down) "Boys Are Stupid" t-shirt ==================================================================
================================================================== Selected from 33 submissions from 10 contributors. Today's Top 5 List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 1, 6, 9 (Three picture deal!) Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 2, 7 Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 3, Topic Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA -- 4 Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX -- 5 Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 8 Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA -- 9 Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA -- Banner tag Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- List "Ed" Itar ------------------------------------------------------------------ Signs You're Too Stupid to Watch Movies RUNNERS UP list -- So True It's Not Funny ------------------------------------------------------------------ You believe that everyone else in the theater is grateful to hear your running commentary through the whole movie. (Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA) ------------------------------------------------------------------ Signs You're Too Stupid to Watch Movies HONORABLE MENTION list -- Ben There, Dung That ------------------------------------------------------------------ You liked Gigli. (Scott Bostick, Lake Ridge, VA) (Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA) (Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO) ================================================================== [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ==================================================================
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