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                         August 17, 2007                          


                       NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:                        

             Instead of our regular comedy semi-pros,
                 today's list was written by our
              subscribers, everyday folks like you.


         The Top 8 Signs There Won't Be a Sequel (Pt. 1)         


 8. The audience skewed older than 15.

 7. In the original, the main character is eating onion rings with
    his family, the guy in the Member's Only jacket uses the rest
    room, and then the screen just goes black. 'Cause that kinda
    ties everything up and leaves no room for a sequel.

 6. Let's see... the ship sank and the boyfriend is a block of ice
    at the bottom of the ocean. Ain't much farther to go with that
    one, Jimbo.

 5. The movie studio isn't buying that a terminator cyborg from
    the future uses a laser-guided, missile-launching walker.

 4. The star has been taken to the mother ship.

 3. The entire cast has jointly filed suit to prevent the producer
    from coming within 150 yards of them.

 2. Two thumbs down from the director's mom.


    and the Number 1 Sign There Won't Be a Sequel...


 1. Directed by Alan Smithee, Starring Alan Smithee,
    Cinematography by Alan Smithee, Catering by Alan Smithee...



              [   Copyright 2007 by Chris White   ]              
              [          www.topfive.com          ]              


==================================================================
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Selected from 114 submissions from 31 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Donald Johnson, Cincinatti, OH    -- 1
Ford Prefect, whereabouts unknown -- 2, 8
Mark Raymond, Flint, MI           -- 3
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL      -- 3
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX           -- 4
John Newsome, Eastman, GA         -- 5
Chuck Salerno, Fullerton, CA      -- 6
Joe Paraschac, Campbell, CA       -- 7
Michele Lord, Lincoln NE          -- Topic
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA        -- List #1. Or #2...

Thank you, subscriber-contributors, your check is in the mail!

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[      Copyright 2007 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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