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              TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS  --  MOVIES
                   Exteme Readover: Home Edition
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                          August 19, 2005

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

             Wal-Mart has introduced a "family-friendly"
           DVD player, pre-programmed to instantly delete
          scenes containing sex, violence or rough language.


    The Top 8 Side Effects of the "Family-Friendly" DVD Player 


 8. The Sopranos - Season One: "Hey, Tony"... (end credits)

 7. Player not only deletes offensive scenes, but repeats sappy
    ones.

 6. Adults bribe their kids to show them how to bypass the
    parental controls.

 5. Everyone realizes that Sharon Stone is actually kind of a
    bad actress.

 4. No pause or rewind, just 32x Fast Forward.

 3. All female characters now in digitized, floor-length burkas.

 2. Friday the 13th movies just endless shots of lone kids
    walking down hallways.


                 and the Number 1 Side Effect of 
                the "Family-Friendly" DVD Player...


 1. Hannibal Lecter seems less like a bad guy, more like a
    friendly chef.



              [   Copyright 2005 by Chris White   ] 
              [          www.topfive.com          ] 


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Selected from 30 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Brandon Hunt, Braintree, MA      -- 1, 6 (7th #1)
John English, Orem, UT           -- 2, 5
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 3, 8
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA        -- 3
Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX   -- 4
Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA      -- 5
Kim Moser, New York, NY          -- 7
Dan Weckerly, Limerick, PA       -- Topic
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA       -- The BLEEPin' List Editor,
                                    Ya MotherBLEEPer! BLEEP!!

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[      Copyright 2005 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]
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