================================================================== TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- MOVIES This is not an offer to sell securities. ================================================================== January 16, 2004 NEWS ITEM: Movie ticket sales dropped 5% in 2003. The Top 9 Reasons Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year 9. Who can leave the house with all of those quality new shows on UPN?? 8. Paris Hilton's movie went straight to video. 7. Scrambling to stay below the "Hey, I could buy the DVD for that much" threshold. 6. Severe lack of Adam-Sandler-as-loveable-retard movies. 5. Let's see... pay eight bucks to see The Haunted Mansion and feel sick and nauseous, or get a flu shot, which will prevent me from feeling sick and nauseous? 4. Because, as a good American, I was in silent protest of the exploitation of... aw, hell, I ate too many Big Macs and my ass got wedged into my computer chair. 3. Huge Hobbit feet make men feel inferior. 2. People still washing their eyes out from the nude scenes in About Schmidt. and the Number 1 Reason Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year... 1. Everyone spent too much time getting to the bottom of that pesky "chicken vs. tuna" mystery. [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ] [ www.topfive.com ] ================================================================== BIG HITS Cinema: Year by Year, 1894-2003 Common Sense Ideas for Increasing Sales ==================================================================
================================================================== Selected from 46 submissions from 13 contributors. Today's Top 5 List authors are: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA -- 1, 4 (Yippee-kai-yay! 1st #1) Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 2 Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA -- 3 Danny Gallagher, Henderson, TX -- 5 Marko Peric, Charlottetown, PEI -- 6 Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 7 Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO -- 8 Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD -- 9 Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- Always a Critic ------------------------------------------------------------------ Reasons Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year RUNNERS UP list -- Just You Wait ------------------------------------------------------------------ Because the studios haven't figured out how to transfer Queer Eye for the Straight Guy to the big screen yet. (Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO) ------------------------------------------------------------------ Reasons Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year HONORABLE MENTION list -- Avid Moviegoers ------------------------------------------------------------------ Bin Laden hasn't been to a theater in ages. (Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA) Still looking for the real killers (OJ Simpson only). (Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA) ------------------------------------------------------------------ Reasons Ticket Sales Dropped Last Year HONORABLE MENTION, THE SEQUEL list -- Suck/Up ------------------------------------------------------------------ Folks found the Top5 Movie List much funnier than the actual films. (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA) ================================================================== [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White All rights reserved. ] [ Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use ] [ in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com" ] ==================================================================
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