I do. I really, really do.

                         December 6, 2002 

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

            Well, poor Nicolas Cage and, oh, "celebrity 
         daughter" Lisa Marie Presley have called it quits
              after nearly four months of marriage...

          The Top 8 Reasons for the Cage/Presley Divorce 

 8. Due to Face/Off confusion, all this time she thought she had
    married John Travolta.

 7. Just trying to keep pace with Liz and Zsa-Zsa.

 6. She stepped on his blue suede shoes! Thank you, I'm here
    all week!

 5. She kept bugging him to get Uncle Francis to cast her in
    Godfather IV.

 4. Calculated publicity stunt designed to vault them both past
    John Tesh on the "Hot Celebs" list.

 3. Now that Angelina and Billy Bob have split up, the glare for
    "Weirdest Couple in Hollywood" was just too bright to bear.

 2. He's already collected on all his bets that it wouldn't last
    two months.

    and the Number 1 Reason for the Cage/Presley Divorce...

 1. Once you go black, or, well, kinda black, but really, now
    that I think about it, pretty white, but not born white of
    course, but like, trying to deny you're black... you never
    go back.

              [   Copyright 2002 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


                             BIG HITS

       Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life

                       Steel Cage Match VHS

                 Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme
                  (Expanded with Extra Tracks!)

Selected from 25 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
Beth Kujawski, Crown Point, IN    -- 1, 3, 7 (Three picture deal!)
Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA         -- 2, 4, 7 (Three picture deal!)
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA  -- 5
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 6
Kim Moser, New York, NY           -- 8
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA        -- King of Soda Pop

[      Copyright 2002 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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