There's never a PA around when you need one. 

                           May 30, 2003  

          The Top 9 Movies Described as a Police Report

 9. Suspects abused the body of the deceased for several days; 
    witnesses claim to have seen nothing despite direct contact 
    with the corpse.
    (Weekend at Bernie's) 

 8. Stolen bicycle reported. Owner pursued the thief on his own 
    without police help; bicycle eventually recovered.
    (Pee Wee's Big Adventure) 

 7. Five teenagers vandalized their school during detention last 
    Saturday when left unattended by the principal. As minors,
    the teens' names were not released; however, they are
    described as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess,
    and a criminal.
    (The Breakfast Club) 

 6. A wanted family of nine is suspected of fleeing the area and 
    crossing the border into Switzerland. The family is described 
    as a father in uniform, a mother or possibly a nun, and seven
    children dressed in clothes resembling old curtains. Suspects
    known to break into song at any moment.
    (The Sound of Music) 

 5. An individual came to the station to report he and two others 
    lost a fourth individual to drowning during a boating trip.
    Authorities should be on the look out for hill dwellers,
    according to the pretty-mouthed individual.

 4. Marine Animal Control Unit requests a larger vessel after 
    their initial attempts to subdue a local pest off the shores 
    of Amity Island were unsuccessful.

 3. Be on the lookout for a man driving a yellow Cadillac who is 
    wanted in the kidnapping of his autistic brother. The car 
    was last spotted travelling toward Las Vegas with stops at
    local area K-Marts to buy underwear.
    (Rain Man) 

 2. A teenage girl killed an elderly woman in Kansas, then 
    apparently teamed up with three strangers to kill another. 
    Suspect claims she was "over the rainbow" at the time.
    (The Wizard of Oz) 

    and the Number 1 Movie Described as a Police Report... 

 1. An underage youth, driving a sports car powered by plutonium 
    obtained illegally from Libyans, was seen speeding in the 
    parking lot of the Twin Pines mall. He was later nearly caught
    doing 88 in a 35.
    (Back to the Future)

              [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]

Selected from 22 submissions from 9 contributors. 
Today's Top 5 List authors are: 
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH       -- 1, 9 (5th #1)
Beth Kujawski, Crown Point, IN      -- 1 (18th #1)
Unknown                             -- 2
Kris Johnson, Glendale, CA          -- 2
Janis Spidle, Kansas City, MO       -- 3, 6, 7 (Three pic deal!) 
Craig Barker, Livonia, MI           -- 4 
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA     -- 5 
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS              -- 8
Peter Heltzer                       -- Topic
Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- Topic
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA          -- Comedy Cop

[      Copyright 2003 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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