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                          June 27, 2008                           

                    The Top 9 Movie Limericks                     

 9. There once was a film which exploded,
    Making the studio rich, fully loaded.
    So to rake in even more,
    They cried "Sequels galore!"
    "But make them longer with a budget most bloated!"

 8. A writer with screenplay a sure bet,
    To Hollywood came for riches he'd get.
    Though 'twas top-grosser of all time,
    He received not one thin dime,
    As he didn't have a percent of gross, just net.

 7. Bill Murray oft repeated his day,
    'Cause his ego got stuck in the way.
    Yes, again and again,
    Until he achieved zen,
    And got Andie MacDowell to stay.

 6. So Josh Brolin is going to play Bush,
    And the studio's giving Stone's "W" a push.
    Come a Friday in October,
    We'll see that George was not sober,
    And Cheney dared him to kick Hussein in the tush.

 5. An archaeologist named Dr. Jones,
    Got the ark, the grail, and some stones.
    After twenty-plus years,
    His now-greatest fears,
    Involve burial, like all of those bones.

 4. Lindsay Lohan's still fighting with Dad,
    After so many years, it's made her quite sad.
    Oh, why can't it be,
    She has a stable fam'ly?
    Perhaps she should adopt Angelina and Brad.

 3. At the Oscars we all wonder who,
    Will get the statuette gold in hue.
    As the trophy they seize,
    They praise other nominees,
    While what they really want to say is, "Screw you!"

 2. There once was a man named Bacon.
    He's not Russian, French or Jamaican.
    What movie was he in,
    With Ellen Barkin?
    That was Diner, if I'm not mistaken.

               and the Number 1 Movie Limerick...

 1. I spent $12.50 to get in the door,
    Now I'm wondering what the hell for.
    The movie's no good,
    I'd walk out if I could,
    But the soda and candy's stuck me to the floor.

              [   Copyright 2008 by Chris White   ]               
              [          www.topfive.com          ]               

Selected from 17 submissions from 5 contributors.
This week's list authors are:
Donald Johnson, Cincinatti, OH   -- 1, 3, 4, 8 (Academy Award!)
Dave Ferry, Purvis, MS           -- 2
Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA        -- 5
John English, Orem, UT           -- 6, 9
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA -- 7
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA       -- Man From Nantucket

                         Movie Limericks                          
            RUNNERS UP list  --  Classically Strained             

Ann Baxter as ingenue Eve,
Did old Margot Channing deceive.
But things they got jumpy,
When the ride it got bumpy,
And she was caught in the web she did weave.
          (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA)

A Hungarian actor named Lorre,
Is noted for movies quite gory.
But in my favorite trick,
He sold visas to Rick,
So Ugarte should share in the glory.
          (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA)

When the plot in "High Noon" has begun,
Cooper's plan is his badge now to shun.
Fate makes him its pawn,
And to violence he's drawn;
Grace Kelley ends up packing a gun!
          (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA)

[      Copyright 2008 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
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