Consult your humorist before using.

                          February 7, 2003 

                        NOTE FROM KRISTIAN:

             According to the TV machine last night,
         plastic surgeons estimate that Michael Jackson
           has had at least 7 operations on his face.

                   Well, duh. What don't we know?

        The Top 8 Least-Known Hollywood Cosmetic Surgeries 

 8. David Spade -- Left eyebrow tendon shortened.

 7. Julia Roberts -- Seven extra molars intalled.

 6. Glenn Close -- Forehead-dewrinkling via insertion of
    windshield from a '98 Buick Regal.

 5. Lassie -- After her third litter, had five of her twelve
    breasts reduced.

 4. Producers -- Well, apparently scripts for most of the movies
    I've seen recently have had a Verbal Lobotomy.

 3. Anna Nicole Smith -- Finally just gave up and added flukes
    and a blow-hole.

 2. Angelina Jolie -- Went to divorce court and had an ass

    and the Number 1 Least-Known Hollywood Cosmetic Surgery...

 1. Joan Rivers -- The first to have "The Magellan", wherein the
    face is stretched entirely around the head and back to it's
    original position.

              [   Copyright 2003 by Chris White   ]
              [          www.topfive.com          ]


                             BIG HITS

           The Smart Woman's Guide to Plastic Surgery:
       Essential Information from a Female Plastic Surgeon

               Michael Jackson's Great Beer Guide
     (Okay, it's a different Jacko, but real men drink beer!)

Selected from 23 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 1, 2, 3 (Academy Award!)
Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, VA  -- 3, 5
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD       -- 4
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA  -- 6, 7, 8  (Three pic deal!)
Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA        -- A little lipo, so sue me.

[      Copyright 2003 by Chris White   All rights reserved.      ]
[           Do not forward, publish, broadcast, or use           ]
[          in any manner without crediting "TopFive.com"         ]

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